My Adult Outlook

I came home one nightlast week and foundmy boyfriendslaptop in the room,he had left iton while he was showering. I had a moment of vulnerability and I looked at his history, this is not something that I would normally do but I had been feeling a bit weird the last few days. I had several instances when i tried to roll over and caress him or touch him but both times he had turned away and pretended he was sleeping. So that night when I saw the lap top, I just couldn’t help myself.

I immediately saw several free online dating sites and two porn sites in that day's history. The porn I am used to, this is something that we had always fought about ever since we started dating. Even though he knows it disgusts me he would still watch it without my knowledge. The free online dating sites were something else though; there was no reason at all for a guy who is in a committed relationship to be even looking at those sites. I knew this was the beginning of the end, my heart started sputtering and my hand was shaking so bad but I still managed to hit one of the links and it took me into the site and into his profile.

He had a complete profile on this free online dating site. Included was all of his personal info except for the fact that he was in a relationship. I read as fast as I could about how he was looking for a sweet, lovable girl to settle down with. He had even posted several photos of himself; I guess he just didn't care if someone who knew me saw this. I read the entire thing, from his likes to his dislikes and never did it mention me. By the time he came out of the shower I was shaking so badly, but I was also really, really mad.

He took one look at me sitting at his lap top with the free online dating site page open and he walked into the closet. He took down his duffel and began packing up his clothes. This made me even angrier, he wasn’t even going to acknowledge it, he was just going to take the easy way out and leave with no explanations. That was exactly what he did; he packed without speaking and left. The next day a messenger service arrived for the rest of his things. I never did get an explanation from him and I guess I never will.